Look After You
by Tracy-Lou
Summary: Brendan lets Ste take care of him for a change… Warning: Possible spoilers


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Brendan lets Ste take care of him for a change…

A/N: There might be slight spoilers in this story because I've used an idea that's supposed to be coming up on the show soon. Obviously this is my own interpretation though and nothing to do with what will actually happen. Hope you enjoy =)

Look After You

There was blood, and darkness, pure darkness…

Brendan's vision was blurry and his body felt numb. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was lying on the floor. He knew he was outside because he could feel the breeze on his face; it was about the only thing keeping him conscious right now. He blinked a few times trying to clear his vision. There was no one around, no one to help him. What had happened to him?

He remembered walking down the stairs from Chez Chez, ready to go home and relax for a change. It had been an eventful day; he'd rubbed a few people up the wrong way; that was for sure. But that was usual service for him. Surely no one he knew had done this?

Brendan's vision started to darken. Oh God, this was the end wasn't it? He was going to die out here on the ground alone and never knowing what had happened to him. He would never see his kids grow up; Cheryl would be left on her own to cope with the club…Brendan started to cough, his chest tight and restricted.

Would anyone else really miss him? He knew of a lot of people who would be happy to see the back of him…Peter, Warren, Amy… to name but a few. Brendan almost wanted to survive this just to spite them but he knew that his strength was failing him. Any minute now and it would be the end…

Brendan closed his eyes, imagining that he was walking into some distant light. His limbs were starting to feel heavy, he felt as though it would be good to sleep right now… He heard a voice somewhere, distantly. Someone was calling his name, screaming it in fact. It sounded like…Stephen. Brendan smiled. Oh Stephen would care all right if he left this world; hadn't he said he loved him once? Brendan couldn't work out why after all he had done to him. But Stephen had to understand that Brendan would not, could not, come out and admit that he liked sleeping with men. Because that was all it was, right?

But then Brendan pictured Stephen's face in the white light he was seeing; he saw him there, smiling at him in that open way he always does, his blue eyes shining like the deep sea, calling out to him, reaching into his chest and taking a hold of his heart and giving it a firm squeeze.

Brendan felt a pair of hands on him, shaking him out of his reverie. He heard that voice again, screaming at him. What was the problem?

"Brendan! Please wake up, Brendan!"

Brendan opened his eyes with difficulty. His vision was cloudy but he could just about make out Stephen kneeling beside him, wet from head to toe. Brendan hadn't even noticed that it was raining.

"Brendan!" Stephen said with relief, looking eagerly into his face.

"Stephen…" Brendan croaked, reaching out a hand. Stephen took it hastily in his own, bringing it to his mouth to kiss it.

"Help's coming okay? What happened? Can you remember?" Stephen asked anxiously. His hair lay flat from the rain. It rather suited him, Brendan thought vaguely.

Brendan shook his head, unable to speak.

"You'll be okay…you'll be okay…." Stephen repeated more to himself than to Brendan. He gripped Brendan's hand tightly; it was about the only thing keeping Brendan fixated on reality.

"Stephen…" he said again with some effort.

"Shh, don't speak" Stephen said, his face close to Brendan's now.

"Listen… listen to me" Brendan said, suddenly feeling the urgency of what he was about to say.

"What is it"? Stephen asked, leaning his ear closer to Brendan's mouth so he could whisper it to him.

"If I don't… make it. Just want to tell ye…I'm sorry"

"Don't talk like that" Stephen breathed, his voice cracking.

"I mean it, I'm sorry" Brendan said firmly. It was taking all of his energy to say so.

"It's fine, don't say any more. The paramedics are coming now, I can see them. Just hold on, yeah?"

Brendan was starting to lose his grasp on consciousness. Stephen was gripping him so tightly but Brendan couldn't hang on any longer.

"Stephen…" he whispered again before everything went black.

XXX

Brendan opened his eyes slowly, squinting in the sudden brightness of the room. He was in hospital and he was wearing… oh dear God, what the _fuck _was he wearing? He glanced to the side and was startled to see Stephen sitting in a chair, his head drooping to the side in sleep. How long had he been waiting here for?

Brendan didn't want to stay one more minute in this place. He hastily attempted to disengage himself from his drip whilst looking around cautiously for his clothes. The needle was in too deep; Brendan struggled to pull it out without wincing in pain. This seemed to wake Stephen up who sat bolt upright, looking at Brendan.

"You're awake!" He said happily, sighing in relief. Then he frowned. "What on earth are you doing?"

Brendan was still trying to tug the drip out of his hand whilst pulling the covers off of himself in a bid to rise from the bed. Stephen jumped up quickly and pushed him back down; Brendan cursed under his breath.

"Brendan, you can't leave yet, you aren't well" Stephen scolded him.

Brendan gave him an ironic look. "Ye really think ye can stop me leaving?"

"Maybe not me but your concussion might, you won't get further than the door without passing out, you're too weak" Stephen said softly.

Brendan paused for a minute. "Weak?" he asked incredulously, gritting his teeth in rage.

"Don't get mad! I'm just telling you what the doctors said. Now please, stop trying to escape"

"I don't like hospitals" Brendan pronounced each word distinctly, aggravated.

"Well tough, you're in one" Stephen said, still standing. His hands were hovering above Brendan's chest, prepared in case he decided to move again. Brendan grabbed Stephen's wrist.

"Stephen, I cannot tolerate hospitals. So ye need to do me a little favour, yer? Go and see the nice nurse or Mr Doctor and tell them, well, tell them what ye want but I want to get out of here right _now" _Brendan's tone implied that he wouldn't be argued with.

Stephen gave him a long suffering look. "Fine, I'll go talk to someone. But promise me you won't go anywhere"

"Ye, sure" Brendan waved a hand at him, closing his eyes and breathing through his nose.

Stephen returned a few minutes later, looking grave.

"What is it?" Brendan tutted, prepared to argue his case if he had to.

"You can't leave" Stephen said bluntly, sitting beside Brendan's bed again.

"Ye what? Who says?"

"The Doctor does. You've had a real bad beating Brendan, someone knocked you out from behind. You're lucky to be alive" Stephen lowered his eyes at these last words, obviously suppressed with emotion.

"Stephen…" Brendan said softly. Stephen looked up at him, his eyes wet. "I'm still here, aren't I? No need to be upset"

Stephen looked at Brendan and suddenly sprung from his chair and wrapped his arms around him. Brendan stiffened; anyone could walk in right now…

"Stephen" he warned, not responding to the embrace.

"Just shut up and let me hold you, okay? No one will come in" Stephen said, annoyed.

Brendan sighed, relenting. It did feel good to hold Stephen in his arms again…

"Hey, I said ye would come back to me, didn't I?" Brendan said smugly, wrapping his arms around Stephen's waist.

Stephen chuckled. "Well, not quite like this. I don't know why I'm here…" Stephen drew away, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

Brendan raised his eyebrows at him. "Ye want me, that's why"

"No Bren, you're in hospital, you could have died! I couldn't just ignore that" Stephen looked at the floor.

"Oh ye? And why's that?"

"You know why" Stephen said quietly.

"I want to hear ye say it"

"Why?"

"Like ye said, I could have died. Be nice to know someone cared"

"Of course I care" Stephen muttered. "You know I do. Not that it's done me much good" Stephen laughed bitterly.

"Ye…our little fight"

"It wasn't a fight, Brendan. You hit me"

"Ye, okay. Well I'm sorry. Does that help?"

"A little" Stephen admitted. "It's not my fault I got jealous of Pete"

"Peter…" Brendan said darkly. Could he have been Brendan's attacker? He shook his head to clear it. "It won't happen again. I'll just…hit a wall next time"

Stephen huffed out a breath. "Yeah, that's so much better…" he said sarcastically.

"It's a start" Brendan said seriously.

Stephen gave Brendan a long look. "The Doctor did say you could be out of here tomorrow provided someone's here to take you home…and to look after you"

"Well, that's good. No problem then"

"You really think Mitzeee's up for this?" Stephen raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Who said anything about Mitzeee?" Brendan said indifferently.

"Well who else? Cheryl?"

"I don't think Cheryl's really cut out for this any more than Mitzeee is"

"Then who?" Stephen asked, confused.

Brendan smirked at him, raising his eyebrows. Stephen's expression turned to horror.

"No! I'm not doing it"

"That isn't very nice, Stephen. I thought you _loved _me" The word came out awkwardly from Brendan's lips but it needed to be said, to convince Stephen to do this.

"I do" Stephen said quickly then clamped a hand over his mouth.

Brendan chuckled. "Its okay, Stephen. I just figured ye would want to be the one to look after me"

"Why? We aren't together anymore"

"Aren't we?" Brendan said slyly.

Stephen gave him a hard look.

"This is just your way of getting me back" Stephen said accusingly.

"Think a lot of yourself, don't ya?" Brendan bit back, amused.

Stephen shook his head. "This is mad, I've got kids to look after, me. I can't just leave Amy to take care of them while I'm looking after you"

"I'll come back with ye then" Brendan grinned at him.

"Are you mad? Amy would never let you" Stephen sighed. "Alright, I'll do my best to do both but I might need a few days off work to manage it…"

"Ah, I like a bit of compromising. Ye got yourself a deal, Stephen"

Stephen looked at him with a small smile. "You must care about me deep down if you want me looking after you"

Brendan's expression hardened. "Don't read too much into it, Stephen"

"Yeah, whatever" Stephen rolled his eyes, still smiling.

XXX

The next day Stephen took Brendan back to his place with Mitzeee. Thankfully Mitzeee was working that day so Stephen was able to get Brendan comfortable in bed without any interference on her part. Stephen tucked Brendan into the bed, absentmindedly. Brendan looked at him trying to gain his attention.

"Something bothering ye, Stephen?"

Stephen looked at him and sat on the edge of the bed. "This doesn't feel right" Stephen muttered, his hands wringing together.

Brendan placed a hand over them. "I appreciate it, yer just doing a favour for a mate"

Stephen looked at him ironically. "We're more than mates"

"Ah so ye admit it now do ya?" Brendan smirked, pleased that he was slowly ensnaring Stephen again.

"Just shut up, you need your rest" Stephen sighed, about to rise from the bed.

Brendan grabbed his wrist, pulling Stephen down onto the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around Stephen's body, pulling him close. Stephen didn't even bother to struggle. Brendan moved his head an inch to whisper into Stephen's ear.

"I asked yer to look after me for more than one reason…" he said seductively.

"Brendan…" Stephen warned.

"What?" Brendan said, his voice soft.

Stephen turned around to face him. "You aren't well enough for that"

"Oh really?" Brendan said, moving forwards to kiss Stephen. Stephen pulled away when things started to get a bit heated. He gave Brendan an annoyed look.

"I didn't come here for this…"

"Then why did ye come?"

"Because you needed my help. We can't just pick off where we left off…"

"Why not?"

"Nothing's changed, has it?" Stephen looked upset.

Brendan sighed. "Look, Stephen. I've been almost battered to death; I don't want to think of anything else right now except ye being here with me. I need yer right now, okay?" Brendan gave Stephen a serious look.

Stephen's expression softened. "Okay, if you need me…" he smirked at Brendan's choice of words. Brendan rolled his eyes and pulled Stephen towards him again for another kiss, growling deep in his throat.

Stephen pulled away after a few minutes looking into Brendan's eyes intently.

"Were you scared?" he asked gently.

Brendan laughed without real humour. "What do ye think? I was lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood, no help in sight"

"Be serious, Bren. This is me you're talking to"

Brendan sighed and stroked Stephen's cheek gently. "Of course I was. I thought that was it, the end of Brendan Brady. Can ye imagine? What would the world do without me?"

Stephen laughed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, it would be awful" he said sarcastically.

"Ye better believe it" Brendan growled, drawing Stephen closer towards him in a tight embrace, Stephen's dirty blonde head tucked underneath Brendan's chin. "I thought I saw ye there" he said wistfully. What was making him say these things? Must have been the strong painkillers he'd been prescribed.

"Of course you did, I was the one who found you"

"No…I saw ye in my mind…with this white light" Brendan trailed off, distracted.

It felt very surreal still being here, alive. Holding Stephen like this made Brendan feel as though he had a hold on the universe. That was the real reason he'd wanted him here. Stephen could joke and say he just wanted him back all for himself because that's how Brendan operated and it was true, partly. Truth was since his attack Brendan felt a lot more vulnerable than he did before. He didn't think he was truly capable of the feeling anymore after building up such a strong barrier against his feelings. But somehow Stephen had broken through that barrier; he had gotten under Brendan's skin and now that he was there, Brendan was unable to let him go…

"Brendan?" Stephen asked worriedly. He was leaning on one elbow, looking into Brendan's face. "What does this mean?" he asked seriously. His eyes were eager with longing. Brendan knew what Stephen wanted him to say but he just couldn't; he still wasn't capable.

"It's nothing, forget it. Would ye mind staying here tonight? Mitzeee's out till late tonight and I'd like the company"

Stephen lay back down. "As your _girlfriend _you'd think she'd be more concerned for you" Stephen said, bitterness evident in his tone.

"Ye well, I told her to give us some privacy. She wasn't best pleased…"

"How did you know I'd stay?"

"Call it instinct" Brendan said smugly.

Stephen sighed. "This attack hasn't changed you at all, has it?"

Brendan sobered a little. "I wouldn't say that, Stephen. I mean, could ye have ever imagined that ye would be here looking after me for a change?"

"I guess not…" Stephen agreed.

"Exactly. And I won't forget it, I promise ye"

"You should get some rest" Stephen said, attempting to rise from the bed. Brendan held him securely in his arms. "Bren! You have to let me go, you need to sleep"

"Can't sleep properly without ye" Brendan mumbled. His eyes widened in astonishment. Had he really just said that?

Stephen chose not to comment which Brendan was grateful for. He merely lay back down beside Brendan and allowed him to hold him, his lips in his hair.

"Bren?" Stephen asked after several moments.

"Hm?" Brendan murmured, already feeling sleepy.

"You said you saw me when you thought you were dying…does that mean that you, you know, love me?"

Brendan groaned into his pillow. Why did Stephen always have to push it? He wasn't ready to say it; did he even feel it? Brendan knew he would be lying to himself if he said he didn't.

"I just want the truth" Stephen said soberly.

Brendan huffed out a breath. "I care for ye…" he hedged.

"Yeah…." Stephen said expectantly.

"I don't want ye to go anywhere…."

"And?"

"I miss ye when ye aren't around". Brendan pushed his face into the pillow. He felt far too vulnerable right now. What was making him say these things?

"I watch ye, when ye don't realise"

"I know you do" Stephen replied, gulping nervously. "But Brendan…"

"Alright. Yes, I do. I do" Brendan groaned again. Stephen tightened his embrace around him but said nothing.

"Thank you" he finally said.

"What for?"

"For giving me a real reason to stay"

"Ye needed one?" Brendan asked curiously.

Stephen paused. "Probably not, but it's nice to know I won't be beating myself up for this later because I stayed with you"

"Just because I said…what I said?"

"Yeah. It means a lot, more than anything anyone has ever said to me"

"Ye well, ye deserve to hear it more often"

"Maybe I can get you to say the whole thing one day"

"Maybe" Brendan agreed, closing his eyes. "Thanks for staying, Stephen" he said gruffly.

"No problem, Bren. Sweet dreams" he whispered, kissing Brendan sweetly on the lips.

And for once, Brendan thought they would be.


End file.
